Awareness After the Aftermath

Published on 5 November 2025 at 21:18

Living Through the Aftermath of Loss

There’s truly no other way to describe your life after experiencing the loss of a loved one to suicide or overdose—it really is a shattered life in the aftermath. The pain feels insurmountable, as if the pieces of your world will never fit back together the same way again.

Grief after such a loss is complex and layered, often bringing feelings of guilt, confusion, anger, and deep sorrow. It’s important to remember that while the road ahead may feel overwhelming, healing is possible with time, support, and self-compassion.

You don’t have to face this journey alone—lean on friends, loved ones, or professional support to help guide you through. While life may never look exactly the same, it’s possible to rebuild and find moments of hope, even within the brokenness.

Stages of Addiction

Sometimes, these stages may occur simultaneously. As an example, for illicit substances used to feel a “high,” even one use is considered misuse. Some of these illicit substances can also result in tolerance within one or two uses. Nevertheless, in the majority of cases, all of these steps are part of the chronic cycle of addiction.

On the other hand, the addictive potential of some drugs may be so strong that what seems to be an immediate addiction may develop. However, for the vast majority of people struggling with addiction, there are stages of substance use or misuse that lead to the circumstances resulting in the person becoming addicted.

 

Stage 1: Initial Use

There are many reasons that the individual who ends up struggling with an addiction might initially try the substance. It can be as seemingly benign as getting a prescription to manage pain or a mental health issue, as culturally typical as trying a first drink at the age of 21, or as insidious as being pressured by friends or family to try illicit drugs. Regardless of how the initial use occurs, it is the first step toward addiction.

Whether or not that initial use is more likely to lead to addiction is often a matter of individual circumstances. A number of risk factors can contribute to a person having a higher risk of developing an addiction, including:

  • A family history of substance misuse or other mental health disorder.
  • Abuse or neglect.
  • A chaotic living environment.
  • Having a peer group or family that is permissive about substance use.
  • Depression, social issues, or loneliness.

Nevertheless, even these risk factors won’t necessarily lead to the high-risk individual developing a substance use disorder.

Stage 2: Misuse

The next stage of the addiction cycle is substance misuse. This is the point at which the person is using the substance on a recurring, improper basis; more simply, the World Health Organization defines substance abuse as using a substance in a way that is harmful.2 Perhaps the individual who is taking a prescription painkiller decides to take higher doses or use the medication more frequently. Another example is the person who engages in regular binge drinking or who occasionally uses cocaine. Whether or not a substance is being misused often depends on the substance itself and how it acts on the body.

As described above, with illicit drugs like heroin, misuse occurs the first time a person uses the drug. With legal substances like tobacco or alcohol, or with prescription medications, misuse is a little harder to delineate, but it is often defined as the point where the person is using the substance for the euphoric response, or high, that the drug creates, rather than for the treatment aspect of the substance. In some cases, substance misuse first occurs if the person is using the drug to self-treat mental or physical issues without the advice of a doctor.

Stage 3: Tolerance

When a person has been using a prescription drug or misusing other substances over a long period of time, the substance can cause changes in the brain that result in tolerance–a condition in which the original dosage or use of the substance no longer produces the same physical or mental effect. As a result, the person using the substance may increase the dosage or frequency of use to try to recapture the original result. For a while, this might work. Then, over time, tolerance to this new dosage occurs, and the person increases again, creating a progression into heavy substance use.

Tolerance is an indication that the brain has changed in response to the drug. For methamphetamine or other stimulants, this could include the loss of certain brain chemical receptors or a decrease in brain chemical production. Slowly, the person’s brain adjusts and changes how it responds to the presence of the drug. This, over time, will lead to the next stage in the addiction cycle: dependence.

Stage 4: Dependence

At a certain point, the body or brain becomes dependent on having the substance to be able to function properly. As an example, a person who has been using cocaine or meth for a long time may find it impossible to feel pleasure without the drug–a condition called anhedonia.

Not all drug dependence is addiction.3 For example, a person with chronic asthma may be dependent on a daily medication in order for that person to be able to breathe properly. However, this is not addiction. In this case, the body was not working properly before the drug was introduced, and the individual is using the medication to correct that function; the drug does not cause the dysfunction.

However, if the person has been using a drug to treat another condition and becomes dependent on that drug to feel good separate from the condition being treated, it may be a type of dependence that leads to addiction.

Stage 5: Addiction

Addiction is a specific, chronic mental health disorder that results in defined symptoms and behaviors that can be used to diagnose the condition. According to the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5), the 11 signs and symptoms of substance use disorders include:4

  • Using more of the substance than the person originally planned.
  • Being unable to stop using the substance.
  • Experiencing relationship problems because of substance use.
  • Spending large amounts of time seeking or using the substance, or recovering from use.
  • Reducing participation in favorite activities in favor of substance use.
  • Being unable to keep up with daily responsibilities due to substance use.
  • Craving the substance.
  • Continuing to use the substance despite negative health effects.
  • Regularly using the substance in dangerous situations (while driving or operating machinery, etc.)
  • Developing tolerance for the substance, as described above.
  • Experiencing withdrawal symptoms when use is stopped.

In general, experiencing 2-3 of these symptoms is considered a mild substance use disorder. Reporting 4-5 of them leads to diagnosis of a moderate disorder. If the person is experiencing 6 or more of the symptoms, it indicates a severe substance use disorder.

Stage 6: Relapse

A hallmark of any chronic condition is the potential for the person to relapse. In chronic conditions like diabetes or asthma, relapse is often expected as the individual and medical personnel work together to determine the treatment that makes it possible to manage the condition.

Addiction is no different from these conditions. In fact, relapse rates for addiction–between 40% and 60%–are similar to those for asthma (50-70%) and adult-onset diabetes (30-50%). Sometimes, the initial treatment is not quite right, or the person starts by trying to quit without help, and over time, control is lost and the person returns to substance use. However, this is not an indication that the person has failed, only that treatment needs to be adjusted.

the Grip of Addiction

Addiction is such an ugly, relentless thief of life. It spares no one in its path, tearing down individuals and leaving a trail of pain for their loved ones.

It doesn’t hesitate, doesn’t pause, and never blinks an eye at the destruction it causes.

Lives are upended, relationships fractured, and futures stolen, all at the hands of this unyielding force that thrives on secrecy and despair.

An individual may go through multiple attempts to stop using a substance before realizing that addiction is a factor. However, when addiction is diagnosed, it is possible to interrupt the cycle of addiction. Professional treatment that is backed by research has the ability to help. Multiple methods, including cognitive and behavioral therapies, peer group support, and other physical and mental health treatments can encourage the person to develop tools for managing this chronic, recurring condition.

As with the medications and therapies used to treat asthma and diabetes, the treatments in addiction rehab are designed to help the person learn to manage a chronic substance use disorder and reduce the likelihood of relapse to drug use. With motivation and experienced, certified help, these individuals can learn to interrupt the addiction cycle and move forward into the sustained recovery, which results in a more positive future.

 

What Would Make you Want More for yourself?

I often find myself wondering, "What would have made my son want more for himself, what could have made him want to break the addiction cycle?  He was young, talented, smart, funny and handsome but somehow lost sight of himself and the good things around him. It's a question that strikes at the heart of understanding human behavior, particularly when it comes to addiction. Addiction often locks people into cycles of self-doubt and destructive patterns, making it hard to see a way out. But the key lies in hope, purpose, and connection.

When someone battling addiction begins to see their own worth, believes in the possibility of a better future, and feels supported by others who genuinely care, the spark of change can ignite. It’s not solely about external interventions but also helping them rediscover an inner drive to live a fulfilling, healthier life. Empowerment, encouragement, and unconditional support can often pave the way for a new beginning, where they start to want more—not because they're told to, but because they truly believe they deserve it.

A Heart Heavy with Loss

My son Kyle overdosed on drugs and died at 28 years old believing that nobody cared for him or loved him, and this weighs heavily on my heart every single day. Drugs deceived him, convincing him he wasn’t worthy of love, of happiness, or of anything good in this world. They robbed him of the clarity to see just how deeply he was cherished, how much he mattered, and how many lives he touched.

This pain is immeasurable, and the heartbreak persists as I carry the weight of these thoughts. If only he had known the truth—that he was loved beyond words, that his worth was never tied to anything but the beautiful person he was.

To anyone struggling, please know this: you are loved, you are worthy, and your life matters more than you realize. Don’t let the lies of addiction steal that truth from you or those who care for you.

There is Hope and Help.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Kyle Bisogno 7-14-1995 to 1-4-2024

Always in our hearts.

SAMHSA leads public health and service delivery efforts that treat mental illness, especially serious mental illness, prevent substance abuse and addiction. If you or someone you know is in emotional or substance use crisis please call or go online for support.

You matter, You are NOT a burden and people care about you and your life. Take some time and let someone share their Hope if you don't have enough for yourself, you don't have to be alone in times of need. You are Loved, Cherished, and Stronger than you know.

Living through the Aftermath of Suicide Loss

Understanding the Complexity of Suicide Loss

Suicide loss is incredibly complex, and navigating the emotions and unanswered questions it leaves behind can feel overwhelming. It's often said that there are warning signs, but the truth is, these signs aren’t always clear or predictable.

Each person’s journey is deeply personal, and sometimes, even with the best intentions and awareness, it can feel impossible to foresee or prevent such tragedies. Blame and hindsight can weigh heavily, but it’s essential to remember that not every sign is obvious, and not every situation has a clear answer.

What matters most moving forward, is fostering open conversations, offering support when we can, and seeking to better understand mental health so we can create a world where fewer people feel that suicide is their only option.

 

Key facts

More than 720 000 people die due to suicide every year.Suicide is the third leading cause of death among 15–29-year-olds.Seventy-three per cent of global suicides occur in low- and middle-income countries.

The reasons for suicide are multi-faceted, influenced by social, cultural, biological, psychological, and environmental factors present across the life-course.

For every suicide there are many more people who attempt suicide.

A prior suicide attempt is an important risk factor for suicide in the general population.

 

 

Grief is extra complicated when you lose someone to suicide, there are so many layers of complications. The guilt, shame, blame, the what ifs, confusion, anger, sadness and other feelings are a torture that never seems to end.

I have learned in these past 3 years that he has been gone, you cannot get through something like this all alone, to maintain any kind of sanity I had to find people and support groups that really understood this horrible path of life, it helps me know that I am not alone and there is Hope and Help to get through this, so many people(unfortunately) are in the same situations trying to rebuild a shattered life, it is the hardest thing I have ever had to go through.

My Joey was so sweet, caring, talented, handsome, funny, and I just don't know how he lost his way or why he felt the world, his family, his spouse and daughters would be better without him. I guess mental health issues can lie and deceive the brain like addiction does 

Breaking the Stigma: Talking About Depression and Mental Health

It's time to break the silence. Depression and other mental health issues should never be hidden or ignored. Talking openly about these struggles is crucial for fostering understanding, reducing stigma, and encouraging those who are affected to seek the help they need.

Mental health is just as important as physical health, and addressing it openly can save lives. By speaking up, sharing our stories, and showing compassion, we can create a community where no one feels alone in their battle.

Let's work together to normalize these conversations and ensure that everyone knows it's okay to ask for help.

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